I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
