Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
