I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize