don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
