someone get that fucking seahorse.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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