We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
