dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
