check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
