My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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