you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
