if you like me you must not know who I am
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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