Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
