My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
