Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
