tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize