called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
