there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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