It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
