Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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