3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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