Can Purell be used as lube?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
