i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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