I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
