Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
