Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he puts the penis in happiness.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize