he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
