when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
