I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
