But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
