OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
