Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
