is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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