it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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