I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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