We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
