He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
