tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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