is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
