yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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