You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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