just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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