I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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