The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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