That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Green mimosas i think yes
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
