if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize