Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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