OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
