it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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