why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
