You were right. It hurts to walk today.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
