I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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