I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
