I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
