His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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