you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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