Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize