We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
