dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
